So bowling alleys are basically an example of tragic fashion in action. This is just a fact. Have you been to a bowling alley? Okay then, you know exactly what I mean. You've got the Blue Hairs, the Beer Guts, the First Dates and the Too Many Kids bowling to your left and right and the biggest question is will that guy, the one in the plaid, pop the button out of that shirt and blind the guy with three teeth?
As horrifying as is it entertaining, they are not remarkable because they're so plentiful. Cameltoe stretch pants with a dirty white undershirt? So what? Prom dress and Old Navy rubber flip flops? Seen it.
But, then, just when you think that the bowling alley is a refuge for the poorly dressed and that you, the appropriately clad for your age and size are the freak, one person bravely steps forward to prove that you can be too tacky for the last refuge of wood paneling.
Why yes, she IS wearing elastic waist Chic denim leggings! Indeed! She is wearing a plaid seer-sucker blouse completely unbuttoned. And is her bikini top riding up on the right so that you can see her nipple? Why yes, it is! Does she have a gunt? Would I be writing if she didn't? And as the kicker, unseen are her black Velcro tennis shoes.
Oh, but my chickens, it does, get better. Or worse. Well, better if you're trying to blog about the poorly dressed. The very next week, like a nightmare about that time in college you kissed that person you thought was of the opposite gender only to find yourself dating someone the Republican's wouldn't let your marry and unable to extricate yourself because lets be honest, who doesn't want someone to bring them breakfast in bed and then do your Econ 250 homework? Not that *I've* ever had that happen, but I can just imagine...any way, so where was I? Ah, yes, the Melvin.
Now, for those unaware, the Melvin is also known as a "Hungry Butt". Behold. 
Yes, my Chickens, that is the same girl. I would have brought her to class, but lets be honest, we all like a good trainwreck.
Kiki
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